michikomalandroid:

aa-noms-you:

pursuingthemeaning:

do not fall in love with people like me.
i will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. i will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. and when i leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.

Calm down John Green

'do not fall in love with people like me'

don’t worry i won’t

(Source: xemkgx)

lokeleo:

andthenewt:

weirdnessloveandscifi:

bohemian-napsody:

very fucking punny you shits

teeth

with all the actual humour, tumblr still finds “teeth” the funniest thing.

actual humor

spiza:

im a wimp when it comes to waxing my legs so i figured out a way to do it.

jbkats:

"paramore was pulled off tour for a week when hayley was 16 because her mom grounded her" is the funniest thing i’ve ever heard

marianmaidenrose:

fallingaroundagain:

lupeylycan:

un-balanc-ed:

thatwrongthing:

this shirt would fit if it weren’t for boobs: a tragedy

that shirt would fit if i had boobs: the sequel 

this shirt fits perfectly because my boobs are the right size: the fanfiction

my shirts always fit: a man’s tale

what shirt: a nudist au

du4ne:

me liking your selfie could either mean “that’s a nice picture friend” or “i want to bend you over a table” but you’ll never know